Thursday, April 23, 2009

Why yes, I was named after Pamela Anderson. How did you ever guess?

In case you just started reading my blog or learned to read recently or something, please allow me to introduce myself:

Hi! My name is Pam. Nice to meet you.

Ok, technically my name is Pamela. Pamela Lynn actually if you want to throw in my middle name. My Mom thought it sounded musical...I think it sounds like a stellar hooker name. 

No one has ever really called me Pamela. Maybe my parents once in awhile, but I've always been Pam. This guy I very, very briefly dated in college decided he wanted to only call me Pamela. But the way he said it seemed so condescending or something. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it bugged the heck out of me. 

This guy at a bar last week told me I should go my Pamela instead of Pam. He said Pam was the ugly name for an ugly girl. What an ass. The sad thing is, I've gotten that a few times. Not exactly in those terms, but one guy in a business meeting told me his daughter Pamela HATED the name Pam because it wasn't pretty. Gee, thanks a lot. Psssh, I love my name, thankyouverymuch.

Yet I find that most people usually have something to say about my name. When I introduce myself (especially in social settings), one of three comments inevitably follows:

Question 1: Oh, like Pamela Anderson?
Answer in my head: Yes, JUST like that. My parents foresaw the success of Baywatch before it was created and wanted to name me after a skankalicious, big-boobed blonde with questionable morals before she was even a "star". Really, how did you guess? It was supposed to be our little family secret... 
Real answer: Uh, no. Not at all. Haven't heard that one before.

Question 2: Is your real name Pamela?
Answer in my head: Yes, it's my real name. Where else would you get the name Pam? From Pamantha? Pamricia? Pamelamadingdong? Why would I give a fake name? And if I used Pam as my fake name, I guess I'm not very clever then. No no, when I go by an alias I prefer to go by something fun and random, like Gretchen. 
Real answer: (pause) Yeah, it's my real name. 

Question 3: That's my mom's name.
Answer in my head: (When I started college, it seemed like everyone's mom's name was Pam. I got this pretty much on a daily basis) Awesome. Just like every other middle-aged woman in America it seems. My mom's name is Kay. Want to talk about it? 
Real answer: Cool. It's a great name. (awkward laugh)

A lot of people often mishear my name as "Kim" which is always interesting to me. Hm. And in college, when everyone was drinking and trying to meet people, I introduced myself as "Pam. Like the cooking spray" so they would remember me. Yeah, I was pretty cool.

I love my name. It's different and I think that's why I like it. Plus, it's spawned some pretty random nicknames that make me laugh: Pamcakes, Pamcat, Pamelama (short for Pamelamadingdong), PamelamaPinkPajama, Pamella, Pammers, etc. They're definitely a step up from Spam, which was my nickname growing up. I despised it. 

So, that's "Pam" in a nutshell. Anyone have any fun/interesting stories about their name? 

Time for bed. This is "cooking spray" signing off!

PS: Great news—no cavities! And I got an A+ for my flossing efforts. Woohoo.

5 comments:

Rachie said...

Aw I like your name just as it is!!

This post cracked my shit up!!

zenfullyme said...

I may just write a name post myself. I never really put my name out there. Hmm. Congrats on the no cavities! Woo!

erin - heart in ireland said...

That is fabulous! I'm going to have to write a name post, as this was a great idea!

And Lynn is a great middle name :)

Bayjb said...

Gorgeous name. Few people call me by my full name anyhow, it's always abbreviated.

jslvr. said...

you know that "cute" little song they teach you when you're a wee little annoyance? the one that goes, 'i've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart, where? down in my heart, where? down in my heart.' i think, maybe, i heard that every day for no less than my elementary school years. it feels so wrong to hate a church song, but holy shit do i ever. whoa, and my name is joyanna by the way.