Monday, November 17, 2008

Sometimes I hate being a grown up

I think I've got a bad case of Peter Pan syndrome. And cue music:

"I won't grow up 
(I won't grow up)
I don't want to go to school 
(I don't want to go to school)"

Oh wait, I grew up and finished school. Damn. 

Sure, being a grown up is fun and all...I can drink and drive (not together), have my own place, do what I went, when I want (as long as it's legal) and even make money...kind of. 

Money really has me down these days. Now that I live alone, I find that all my bills make a much bigger dent in my finances that they used to. My first check of the month goes almost entirely to pay my rent. The second check of the month used to be my grocery/fun money. 

Not anymore. 

The last few days I was nearly giddy with relief that I had money in my bank account. I could splurge on my favorite cereal! I could buy new winter boots! I could buy that dress from Gap that I love! I could even start my Christmas shopping! WOW!

And then I got home from work to find a stack of bills in my mailbox. How amazing that they ALL arrived on the same day. Lucky me. So, because I'm a good girl, I paid all my bills in full (including my credit card), and now I find myself almost in a panic. All that lovely money is gone. Ok not all of it, but a very good chunk of it. And yes, I am happy to have cable and electricity...but yikes.

So as a direct result, I e-mailed my sister and called my boyfriend to tell them that I would have to spend less on them for Christmas this year and apologized profusely. Totally unnecessary. And I started researching new winter boots. I was finally going to cave this year and buy Uggs...though I don't like the looks of them much, I like to have warm feet. But now I think I'm going to pick up the Target knock-offs. I know, I know, it's lame, but they had good reviews, and they're cute.

I'm starting to really freak out...I was supposed to buy a new Pilates package tomorrow, how can I do that? Am I going to have to live on cereal until Christmas? I still need a new hat, which I have to get because my poor little ears can't handle the cold, but can I get the cute one I really like? My friends and I are trying to figure out plans for New Year's Eve, will I have money to book it? And I have to pay my Mom for our trip to Aruba soon, too, though it's not until March. And what about Christmas presents for everyone?! AHH!

Ugh I hate worrying about grown up things.  And hearing about our economic crisis is not helping. I just need to be happy that I can pay my bills, right? I need to focus on the positive. I'm glad I have heat and electricity and cable and a roof over my head. And I am so glad I live alone, drama-free and away from crazy roommates of the past. I am lucky...I just have to be thrifty for a little while. I'll make it work. 

And...I just bought tickets to the midnight showing of Twilight on Thursday. Definitely worth the splurge :)


Rachie said...

You definitely have your priorities right! I'm buying twilight tickets tomorrow for the Friday evening showing. I would totally be going to the midnight one but I promised a friend we'd see it together and she's a teacher and can't stay up that late. Oh yea, and she lives an hour away from here, which is where we're viewing th movie. I.CAN.NOT.WAIT!

Sassy Molassy said...

Welcome to the blogging world! I agree, it sucks having to be on such a tight budget. My family is going super low key on presents this year. Just one gift per person, which feels like such a relief. After all, I love the holidays for the tradition of family together and good food, not the stuff.

And, I too heart Jon & Kate +8. Too cute.

zentiment said...

I'm sure we all have the same issues when it comes to not having much money. I'm in the same situation. I used to HATE getting bills in the mail. It would make me so depressed knowing that half if not more of what I make is just going to the cost of living. Then writing out check after check, slowly seeing my balance get lower and lower was too much! So, I signed up for paperless, automatic billing. I think almost everyone offers it now. I no longer get bills and they automatically take the amount out of my account. No bills, no hassle, and no heartache!