"I won't grow up
(I won't grow up)
I don't want to go to school
(I don't want to go to school)"
Oh wait, I grew up and finished school. Damn.
Sure, being a grown up is fun and all...I can drink and drive (not together), have my own place, do what I went, when I want (as long as it's legal) and even make money...kind of.
Money really has me down these days. Now that I live alone, I find that all my bills make a much bigger dent in my finances that they used to. My first check of the month goes almost entirely to pay my rent. The second check of the month used to be my grocery/fun money.
The last few days I was nearly giddy with relief that I had money in my bank account. I could splurge on my favorite cereal! I could buy new winter boots! I could buy that dress from Gap that I love! I could even start my Christmas shopping! WOW!
And then I got home from work to find a stack of bills in my mailbox. How amazing that they ALL arrived on the same day. Lucky me. So, because I'm a good girl, I paid all my bills in full (including my credit card), and now I find myself almost in a panic. All that lovely money is gone. Ok not all of it, but a very good chunk of it. And yes, I am happy to have cable and electricity...but yikes.
So as a direct result, I e-mailed my sister and called my boyfriend to tell them that I would have to spend less on them for Christmas this year and apologized profusely. Totally unnecessary. And I started researching new winter boots. I was finally going to cave this year and buy Uggs...though I don't like the looks of them much, I like to have warm feet. But now I think I'm going to pick up the Target knock-offs. I know, I know, it's lame, but they had good reviews, and they're cute.
I'm starting to really freak out...I was supposed to buy a new Pilates package tomorrow, how can I do that? Am I going to have to live on cereal until Christmas? I still need a new hat, which I have to get because my poor little ears can't handle the cold, but can I get the cute one I really like? My friends and I are trying to figure out plans for New Year's Eve, will I have money to book it? And I have to pay my Mom for our trip to Aruba soon, too, though it's not until March. And what about Christmas presents for everyone?! AHH!
Ugh I hate worrying about grown up things. And hearing about our economic crisis is not helping. I just need to be happy that I can pay my bills, right? I need to focus on the positive. I'm glad I have heat and electricity and cable and a roof over my head. And I am so glad I live alone, drama-free and away from crazy roommates of the past. I am lucky...I just have to be thrifty for a little while. I'll make it work.
And...I just bought tickets to the midnight showing of Twilight on Thursday. Definitely worth the splurge :)