So naturally, I want to look my best. I'm finally getting my hair cut tomorrow, I borrowed this amazing dress from my coworker and I'm even getting my makeup done with a friend (I need to stock up on stuff anyway...). The only minor hiccup is my almost-transparent skin. It hasn't seen the sun in months.
I'm not one to go tanning, especially in the winter, because it looks ridiculous to be tan in February in Chicago. But since my dress shows lots of skin, I thought I'd try out a self-tanner. So I headed to Sephora during my lunch today and quickly remembered why I hate that place. The salespeople are so rude!
I had to wait quite awhile until someone helped me. And even then, when I finally asked someone, she acted like I was disturbing her. Here is how our conversation went:
Me: Excuse me, do you have a minute?
Sephora Woman: (sigh) I'll have to make one.
Me: I'm looking for a good self-tanner. I'm pretty pale...
SW: (laughs) Honey, you're not just pale, you're porcelain.
Me: Yeah I guess, so I'd like one that could look natural.
(SW went on to explain how best to use it, etc.)
Me: Well, I'm planning to use this tomorr...
SW: Oh honey, don't do it! Don't.
Me: But I have an event...
SW: I'll tell you what will happen. You'll put in on all wrong, you'll totally mess it up, you'll get it on your clothes, you'll streak it all over the place and then you'll end up crying your eyes out and having your entire night ruined. It will be a disaster.
Me: (silently staring at her, completely taken aback, mouth hanging open)
SW: Don't do it. Your pale skin is fine.
(SW clearly sees that I'm a bit offended.)
SW: Well, wait I have something else that might work. (She starts to lead me across the store)
SW: Might I add that you have big green eyes?
Me: Eh...yeah, I do.
(SW glances down at my dry, chapped hands)
SW: Oh my! What happened to your hands? They look terrible. Don't you moisturize?
So long story short (ok, not really), the woman really frustrated me. First my skin (I know, porcelain skin isn't bad), then my ability to put lotion on myself, then my hands. I appreciate her advice about not getting a self-tanner, but she went about it the wrong way. Instead of being helpful, she insulted me.
But in the end, she ended up selling me this "tan enhancing lotion", AKA oil spray with tiny bronze glittery sparkles that gives my skin a nice glow.
So now my porcelain skin will sparkle in the light...just like the Cullens. I'm going for the vampire-sexy look tomorrow night. So fierce.