Sunday, May 3, 2009

I hate poopin' pigeons

A bird pooped on me today. 


But it wasn't just any was a big, fat bacteria-infested city pigeon. 

Double ew.

In an attempt to describe my hatred for surprise spills/messes made on or around me, I wanted to reference back to a post I wrote earlier about a pregnant woman throwing up on me on a plane a few years ago. I could have sworn such a post existed, but I can't find it anywhere. It's a good/disgusting/overly-dramatic story, so I hope I can find it. Otherwise, I'll just have to retell it one of these days.

So after spending a wonderful derby-filled, mini-golftastic weekend visiting my boyfriend in Milwaukee and a lovely day with him and my parents at the Chicago Botanic Gardens, I hopped on the Metra and headed to the city. 

Once I got downtown, I opted to take the L (or is it El? I should know this...) back to my apartment. Unfortunately, that involved walking down a street that doubles as a pigeon hotspot. They are always hanging out in the gutters, curbs, sidewalks, overhangs, steps, etc taking up space and pooping up a storm. I practically tip-toed through it because my biggest fear is having those damn birds get spooked and fly up in my face. (shudder)

So I made it safely to the covered stairs that took me to the train. But as I approached the stairs, I noticed an extremely fat pigeon sitting backward on the ledge over the entrance of the stairs. His dirty, feathery little bum stuck out, just waiting for someone to walk by. 

I knew he would poop on me, but I heard the train coming and decided to risk it. I held my breath (not sure why) and ran to the stairs.

Immediately, I felt something hot and wet plop onto my right cheek. Sick.

I swore loudly and as I kept walking up the stairs, I wiped it off my face. It smelled AWFUL. When I got on the train, I finally assessed the damage. It had landed on my face, on my jacket, on my springy scarf and all over my new purse. Ew, ew, ew.

I thought I wiped it all off, but when I got home, I realized that I had a huge brown splotch streaked across my cheek. GROSS. I gagged a little bit.

So I heard getting pooped on is a sign of good luck. Any truth to that? I've never had it happen before, but it's a nice thought to have. It kind of takes away the grossness of the actual poop. And I can definitely say that when I came home, I was able to run downstairs and throw 3 loads of laundry in at one time, which NEVER happens. It was pretty amazing because laundry usually causes me hours of stress. Was it good luck? Sure, I'll call it that.

I also just found a long lost memory card from when I first got my digital camera. It has hilarious pictures from my first week in Ireland that I forgot I had. Aww, such good memories.

Ok, off to unpack and put away laundry. Hope you all had wonderful bird poop-free weekends!


zenfullyme said...

Sorry you got pooped on, but this story was hilarious. I love how you knew it was gonna happen, held your breath and everything. I got pooped on twice. (Yeah, I'm admitting it). Once, we were in Florida at Epcot. I was 10. In my hair on the top/side of my head, where I had to walk/run to the bathroom tilting my head so it wouldn't slide down. Gross. I cried, washed my hair in a public sink, and my sister made fun of me. Horrifying. Second time...high school. Our quad area was seagull infested. (Close to the beach has it's downfalls). Thankfully it was just on my shoe, but they were new Doc Mr.'s, and it stained the leather! Bummer. But on your face....ugh! I also would have gagged! At least you have a good story (and blog post) out of it!

Rachie said...

I read about this incident on twitter and yea, that sucks

Ali said...


I am so, SO sorry that that happened to you.

Let's go with the whole good luck thang, shall we? :)

Bayjb said...

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry you got pooped on. That is my fear!! Feel like a Bobtail or Phoebe's cupcakes trip this weekend?

erin - heart in ireland said...

Uuughh! That pigeon really pooped!

I was in Greece on our last day walking to the Metro when I felt a wet drop on my head, face and arm. Yup, a pigeon pooped on me. And here I am trying to ask the Metro person for a paper towel (who doesn't speak the best English) luckily I was able to point to the poop on my face and she understood!

Sounds like you had a fun weekend though. And you did post about the pregnant woman throwing up, because I remember that one!