Sunday, May 17, 2009

Chaperoning makes it okay to be a creep

Last night at prom, I felt like I was smack dab in the middle of an MTV show. It was a little bit of Made, a whole lot of High School Stories and definitely a touch of True Life: I Live for Prom. The night was surprisingly drama-free—only one girl cried (boyfriend troubles, naturally), one couple got caught making out in the curtains, and there was an incident when a boy was spending way too much hanging out in the bathroom. Sketchy.

My night started with the following exchange: 

HS Principal: You Catholic, Pam?
Me: Yeah.
HS Principal: Good. You're going to need to go to confession after seeing these kids dance.

And for some odd reason, that got me really excited. Is that wrong? A comment like that meant there would be great stories to tell, and I was not disappointed.

The Attire—I've never seen so much orange in my entire life. Orange dresses, orange skin (Everyone was tan...totally normal for Wisconsin in May. Ha.), orange vests and orange bow-ties. I didn't know tangerine was the color of the season until last night, but now I'm very aware. Throw in all the bright yellow, hot pink, vivid purple and neon blue dresses and you've got yourself a party. I only saw one black dress and 3, yes 3, wedding dresses. A white ball gown? Might as well start playing "Here Comes the Bride". I'd say about 95% of the dresses were exactly like this:
Most of them were more than a little scandalous. Everywhere I looked there was cleavage. Yikes. Very, very different from my own prom experience 6 years ago. We were all about A-line and princess dresses. Luckily, most of the girls could totally pull it off...until they started pulling up the bottoms and tying them up to their thighs with rubber-bands. Oh dear. For a girl who grew up in a very sheltered environment, I felt like I needed to cover my eyes at times. 

The guys seemed to be loving white tuxes, which I found interesting. There must have been at least 30 guys rockin' the all white ensemble, with vests and bow-ties to match their dates' dresses. So the guys were running around in pink, purple, green, orange, yellow and turquoise vests, looking like they came straight from their shifts working at Disney World. I kept trying to find the little Mickey Mouse lanyards around their necks.

The Music—Apparently, it "sucked". Why? I have no clue. I didn't think it was so bad. I was totally grooving to the beat on the "sidelines".  There were a few too many of those "is it a slow dance or fast dance" songs. And at one point they played K-Ci and JoJo's "All My Life" which made me and J laugh out loud. I used to love that song in 7th grade. But it's definitely not cool in 2009. 

At one point one of J's students came over to complain about the music and I tried to help:

HS Girl: Ugh. This music seriously sucks.
Me: Really? Why?
HS Girl: We can't dance to this. It's all jumping. I don't want to jump. I want hip-hop. 
Me: Is there a specific song you would want? Maybe you could request it.
HS Girl: (blank stare) No. This music sucks.
Me: Oh, ok then.

But then again, this very drugged-out kid ran over and starting yelling, "I almost puked 3 times because I was dancing so hard! I love this music!" So apparently at least one kid liked it.

The Dancing—Ohhh my goodness. I didn't realize that being a chaperone required you to literally stand/sit on the side of the dance floor and watch the kids up close. I felt like a super creep as I watched all the guys grind up on the girls. So awkward. When watching it from behind, it seriously looked like the guys are doing a series of very off-rhythm squats. Almost like a drunken ballet dancer doing a plie while trying to cop a feel. The best part was when the kids discovered the mirror behind the djs and started watching themselves dance. J and I couldn't stop laughing.

The kids went nuts when the djs played "Get Buck in Here", apparently a "good" song.  Being the old lady I am, I didn't know it, but it's probably one of the dirtiest songs I've ever heard. So naturally, the kids loved it. I've never seen so many thrusts, hip sways and off-beat hip shakes in my entire life.  

I had a total blast at prom. It was so fun to see everyone all dressed up and so excited. The kids were great. I especially loved when J's students came over to meet me. They all shook my hand and said they'd heard so much about me. A few guys even asked if I was, "the famous Pam". It was so cute. And it was so fun to see J in a school setting with his students, who so clearly look up to him. 

As soon as prom was over and the kids were out of the ballroom (but not even on the buses yet), J, me and few other chaperones went straight to the bars. We proceeded to gush about the night and drink delicious martinis until bar close. It was a total blast. And while we were out, I was determined to run into Jimmy Fallon (love him) who was in Milwaukee last night. But after the most amazing flirtini ever, I forgot all about my mission. Whoops.

Oh and sorry, I didn't take any pictures. I'm pretty sure I would have been arrested if I whipped out my camera to snap a pic. It was creepy enough sitting there close and watching them dance. But I wore the black dress and it worked out perfectly. Thanks again everyone!. Woo. Prom 2009!


zenfullyme said...

Making fun of stupid, overdramatic high school kids, watching them in awkward moments and horrible dancing, getting to dress up and be the teacher's hot date, and getting drunk afterward while gossiping with the other chaperones about it. Sounds like an entertaining night! lol.

erin - heart in ireland said...

Wow, that just sounds absolutely hilarious! The dresses now do seem totally different from when we went, or at least the ones I see in stores.

Glad it was an entertaining experience and cool to see J and his students!

Ali said...

So glad you had fun! I bet being on the other side of Prom is muy entertaining.

Katelin said...

oh prom. i loved mine and i know it's so much different now, it sounds hilarious.