Monday, July 20, 2009

Milk jug lids and other daily obstacles

The other morning, while attempting to twist the cap back on my milk for the millionth time (see first bullet), I started wondering why it was just so darn difficult for me. Surely if the milk jug manufacturers keep producing the jugs the same way year after year, they must not be that impossible to figure out. 

So then I started thinking about other simple things that I have trouble with. You know, the everyday things that seem impossible to me (and probably only me). 

Screwing the lid back on a milk jug. Seriously, why is it so difficult? Why won't the little nooks and crannies fit together in perfect twisted harmony? I swear, I stand there in the morning trying to screw it back on for a full 4 minutes before I give up and put it back in the fridge—with the lid halfway on. Whoops. Oddly enough, I have the same troubles with peanut butter jars. But only peanut butter jars. It boggles my mind. 

Typing the word "license". And yes, it just took me about 3 tries to get it right there. It's just so darn tricky! And since I'm a copywriter and spend a good chunk of my day proofreading, it's a bit embarrassing. You'd be surprised how many times that word pops up on a daily basis. I guess I'm just sensitive about it. It's like a lisp for my finger. License, license, license!

Watching a full movie on DVD. If it's on TV, yes, I'll watch the whole thing (commercials and all). But if I own the movie and physically put it in my DVD player to watch, my attention span shoots straight out the window. I either fall asleep, start playing online or leave the room. Kind of strange, really. Apparently turning on a movie turns me off.  

• Saying the word "parenthesis". That "h" trips me up every time. I always pronounced it as "pa-renT-uh-sees", and thought it was totally normal. But then my friends caught on and started poking fun at me for skipping the "h", and now I'm all paranoid about how I say it. 

Dealing with people talking on cell phones on the bus. Yep, that's me shooting you evil looks. I have very, very low cell-phone-talker tolerance. Especially if I'm really engrossed in a book and you sit right behind me and proceed to talk loudly in my ear. Hey, lady, that's great you're going to buy a $1,200 bag (what a sin!), but I don't want to hear about it. 

Not saying the word "like". Totally my verbal crutch. I hobble around on that sucker all the time. Pretty much every sentence I say has one of those bad boys thrown in. I, like, really can't help it. And I'm definitely not a Valley Girl. 

Standing up straight. Ugh. I know I slouch, I wish I didn't, but it's just so darn hard to fix. I'll sit/stand up straight for a few minutes, but then I'll forget and BAM! Slouchy McSloucherson returns. I think I'm getting a tiny bit, maybe not. I'm just more aware of it now.  

Not getting giddy when I hear Irish accents. I can't help it. Whenever I hear my favorite little accent, I get all excited—even when it's a girl. I have to fight the urge to run over and talk to them. I'm pretty sure that would make me a huge creep. 

So what about you guys—any easy, everyday things you just can't seem to do? Have any tips on how the heck to screw lids back on or secrets to standing up straight?

Hope you all had wonderful weekends! I know I did—seeing Rascal Flatts at Wrigley Field was a blast!


Anonymous said...

I am a "like" sayer too. All the time. It annoys the crap out of me especially when I notice it in conversation but then really need to use it to "like" compare something. UGH! Gets me every time. I'm a sloucher also. I sit hunched over a computer all day, I can't help it. I at least try to pull my shoulders back to stretch them. It helps....a little. You're not alone with the quirks, we all have 'em!

Rachie said...

I can empathize with every single one of those. Seriously. You're not as weird as you think. Heh.

erin - heart in ireland said...

i am totally on the like train, but as i lived in cork for 2 years, it goes at the end of my sentence, like!

and yessssss on the irish accent, i also get giddy like a little kid on christmas :)