Tales from the pissed off +1

Ok, my writer's block is officially dissolved because now I'm a wee bit ticked off. And when my feathers are ruffled, I like to rant. 

So where should I begin? Hm, I think I'll start at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start). I'm going to have to use fake names to protect the innocent. Sort of.

In college, J (my boyfriend) was good friends with a guy, let's call him Ron. So J and Ron had a lot of classes together and used to hang out all the time. Then Ron met a girl, we'll call her Beth, and he was one smitten kitten. He fell head over heels, only none of Ron's friends liked Beth. During senior year, he started spending all his time with her, ignoring J and his other friends. And not long after he graduated, he proposed. 

Ron and I always got along well. J didn't like Beth very much, but I tried to be nice. I was excited for them when they got engaged, plus I was pumped for the wedding. We were all friends, so I knew it would be fun.

Though J and Ron have grown apart, we still hang out occasionally. And the last two times have been WEIRD. He's barely acknowledges me. The last time we hung out, he introduced his other friends to everyone but J and I. He hugged everyone but J and I. And besides a "hi", I got nothing. When we had to talk, he was very short with me. I had always thought we got along well, but he was acting as if I had done something to personally offend him, and to be honest, I was a little hurt.

And then the Save the Dates were sent out. J didn't get one, but his parents did. And it was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. J, J and his dog. Yes, his family DOG. WTF. J was really offended at not getting one personally (I don't blame him) and I was offended that his dog was included, but not me. At that point J and I had been dating 3 years. I mean, really? What the hell?

So a bit of time went by, and I forgot about it. Until today. J just got his invitation to the wedding in the mail. And it was addressed to Mr. J...and guest. Are you kidding me? Maybe I'm nuts, but I'm really offended. It's not like I'm a stranger. I know both the bride and the groom. Ron knows we're a serious couple, so why wouldn't he include me? I mean, seriously, J was invited to his coworkers' wedding and though I've only met them a couple times, they addressed their invitation to both of us. Hmph.

I feel like I somehow pissed Ron off. At least, that's how he's acting. But for the life of me, I can't figure out what I would have done. And he's being really weird to J now, too. It's completely bizarre.

Perhaps I'm a little crazy, but for some reason this really, really gets under my skin. It's not like we can go to the wedding anyway because J will be back in Massachusetts for his dad's birthday. But maybe I will go...and bring his dog. I'd be proud to be a weiner dog's +1. 

And in other news, I seriously need to stop watching the New Moon trailer. Why am I so addicted? I just can't seem to get enough.

I'm going to sparkle like the Cullens in the sun

Tomorrow night I'm going to Snowball, an annual charity event for Children's Memorial Hospital. It's thrown by the Hospital's Junior Council, so it's basically a big party/dance for young professionals. I went last year and it was pretty fun. I just like getting dressed up...

So naturally, I want to look my best. I'm finally getting my hair cut tomorrow,  I borrowed this amazing dress from my coworker and I'm even getting my makeup done with a friend (I need to stock up on stuff anyway...). The only minor hiccup is my almost-transparent skin. It hasn't seen the sun in months. 

I'm not one to go tanning, especially in the winter, because it looks ridiculous to be tan in February in Chicago. But since my dress shows lots of skin, I thought I'd try out a self-tanner. So I headed to Sephora during my lunch today and quickly remembered why I hate that place. The salespeople are so rude!

I had to wait quite awhile until someone helped me. And even then, when I finally asked someone, she acted like I was disturbing her. Here is how our conversation went:

Me:  Excuse me, do you have a minute?

Sephora Woman: (sigh) I'll have to make one.

Me: I'm looking for a good self-tanner. I'm pretty pale...

SW: (laughs) Honey, you're not just pale, you're porcelain.

Me: Yeah I guess, so I'd like one that could look natural.

(SW went on to explain how best to use it, etc.)

Me: Well, I'm planning to use this tomorr...

SW: Oh honey, don't do it! Don't.

Me: But I have an event...

SW: I'll tell you what will happen. You'll put in on all wrong, you'll totally mess it up, you'll get it on your clothes, you'll streak it all over the place and then you'll end up crying your eyes out and having your entire night ruined. It will be a disaster.

Me: (silently staring at her, completely taken aback, mouth hanging open)

SW: Don't do it. Your pale skin is fine.

Me: Ok...well...

(SW clearly sees that I'm a bit offended.)

SW: Well, wait I have something else that might work. (She starts to lead me across the store)

SW: Might I add that you have big green eyes?

Me: Eh...yeah, I do.

(SW glances down at my dry, chapped hands)

SW: Oh my! What happened to your hands? They look terrible. Don't you moisturize?

So long story short (ok, not really), the woman really frustrated me. First my skin (I know, porcelain skin isn't bad), then my ability to put lotion on myself, then my hands.  I appreciate her advice about not getting a self-tanner, but she went about it the wrong way. Instead of being helpful, she insulted me.

But in the end, she ended up selling me this "tan enhancing lotion", AKA oil spray with tiny bronze glittery sparkles that gives my skin a nice glow. 

So now my porcelain skin will sparkle in the light...just like the Cullens.  I'm going for the vampire-sexy look tomorrow night. So fierce.

I need sleep

I'm exhausted.

I went to the midnight showing of Twilight last night, and didn't get home until about 2:30. I was still giddy from the movie, so I had to settle down a bit before I could fall asleep. The last time I checked the clock was about 3:20.

After awhile, I had a very vivid dream in which Edward Cullen was standing in my room, watching me sleep. I opened my eyes and saw his shadow out of the corner of my eye, standing off to the right side...and I literally jumped up and flew out of bed. I really thought he was in my room and it was really scary and really exciting at the same time. Naturally, it took me a few minutes to get my heart to stop racing so I could fall back to sleep...

And then my alarm went off. I got 3 measly hours of sleep. And boy, was I tired all day long. Thank goodness for my Starbucks Gingersnap Latte, that's all I can say. Oh, and the barista didn't call me Jessica today. She didn't call me anything, actually. I think the dreadful bags under my eyes must have scared her away.

So anyway, I'm off to bed. I left my cousin's birthday party early because I could barely stay awake. I'm not going to post my thoughts on Twilight until next week, after most people have seen it. I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

I'll just leave you with the images that have been running through my mind all day...

Amazing.

Just got back, but I won't tell.

I just got back from seeing Twilight. No worries, I won't spoil anything. 

All I'll say is that Rob (we're on a first name basis) is hot and a VERY good kisser (from the looks of it), Kristen was surprisingly good as Bella, and there are A LOT of trees in this movie. A LOT.

I am attracted to a fictional vampire

I love to read. I always have. As a kid, I used to read ALL the time. I would curl up in this old rocking chair overlooking the stairs and devour novels. There's nothing liking cracking open a brand new book. The crisp pages, the smell of fresh ink, a whole new story waiting to be read. Getting lost in a good book is one of my favorite things to do.

A few weeks ago, I was running out of books to read. I had been reading lots of chick lit and Philippa Gregory books and while I love the adventures of Becky Bloomwood and the love affairs of Queen Elizabeth, I was looking for something new. So I asked my friend, who loves reading even more than I do, for advice and this is how our (abridged) gchat convo went:

P: i need new books to read. any suggestions?

A: read the twilight series!
i bet you would like it
it's getting me through harry potter not coming out in november
because they made it into a movie
and the first one is coming out in november
the the guy who plays "edward" is HOT

P: oh yeah!
they're good?

A: well

P: what are the names of the books?

A: it's not that they're really that good...
it's that they suck you in
because there are four of them

A: mostly i find bella annoying (she's the main character)
but i love edward
dreamy

P: ohhh
good, ill read them
how long are the books?
i miss harry potter
it ended so well

A: i know
and this one is just getting insane
i'm on the fourth
literally i've read them all in the past two weeks

She went on to tell me the basic story line of the series and I was very intrigued. Even though it's about vampires which I've never really cared for...probably because I had a children's version of Dracula when I was 8 and was so scared of it that I hid it in my brother's room. I honestly believed Dracula was going to come out of the book and bite me in my sleep. Yes, I have an overactive imagination.

So the next week, I headed over to Border's to pick up Twilight and another book I wanted to read, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. As I walked up to the Twilight book display and saw the large "YOUNG ADULT" sign, I almost changed my mind. I was really embarrassed to buy a teen book. I kind of wandered around the store a bit until I realized I was being stupid. I swallowed my silly 23-year-old pride and finally bought it.

I was really excited to read it, but I decided to read The Story of Edgar Sawtelle first. It was a great book...very interesting, intriguing characters, exciting story...until the very end. I hated the ending. So much so that I was in a terrible mood for the entire day after I finished it.

And then I started Twilight and I was hooked. I literally could not put the book down. I started it on the bus to work on Wednesday (and yes, I took the book jacket off) and was so sucked in that I snuck pages throughout the day, spent my whole lunch hour at my desk reading and then read from the time I got home to the time I went to bed. The same went for Thursday and I finished it right after work. I was obsessed. All I could think about was Edward and Bella and what would happen. It was exactly as my friend described it...I just couldn't stop reading!

It's not that the writing is great at all...you can tell it's written for teens. And I can't stand the constant use of the word "chuckle". And Edward seems to laugh and chuckle quite a bit. The relationship between Edward and Bella really does seem a bit abusive (obviously), but the story just sucks you in. It's kind of ridiculous. Edward seems so smoldering and handsome. Stephenie Meyer does an excellent job of making him sound HOT and totally swoon-worthy. I find myself attracted to a fictional vampire. Wow, that's a sentence I never thought I would ever write.

So after my relaxing Friday night, I woke up early on Saturday and went straight to Border's to buy New Moon. I was only able to read the first few chapters because I was really busy the rest of the weekend but now that I'm finally home I can't wait to read more. Even as I'm writing this I see it sitting on my table and I'm dying to read it...

Ok I can't resist the urge any more...I'm off to read more of this amazing vampire-y saga. Goodnight!